Thursday, December 15, 2011

Aubade

Early morning light filters in
through the window's glass,
revealing dancing dust particles.
It's one of those
abstract beautiful things
that just elude your grasp.

But the woman by the window cannot grasp
the beauty of sunlight that filters in;
she is too shocked to notice things
like early morning scenes visible through glass
windows; it's one of 'those'
mornings; her heart has been shattered to particles.

Her heart has been shattered to particles
too sharply painful for her mind to grasp,
gather and repair logically. Those
paroxysms of angry grief have started raging in
her mind. His betrayal is transparent as glass:
he has gone with all his things.

He has gone with all his things:
there remain no particles
of his memory to break like a glass.
If one damned thing would come in her grasp
it would be destroyed to ashes and chucked in
the bin of her memory: it would break all those

spells he cast on her, those
spells that bewitched her to abandon all things
and fling herself across the globe to join him in
a faraway land with no approval of others, no particles
of a souvenir of love to grasp
safely in her hand, to nurse like delicate glass.

Her innocence was  transparent as glass
when he, one of those
dirty handsome men, set out to grasp
on tightly to her, a beautiful 'thing'
to keep, with not a single particle
of love in his heart. He has left her to wake up in

a lonely land, to grasp reality cold as glass;
his particle-seed had inflicted major damage: 'unwanted things',
twins to be born to her in of those dreary December mornings.

16 comments:

  1. WOW! What a fantastic write. I had to look at your photo to remind myself that this was written by a young woman - it has life wisdom far beyond your years. I also applaud how well you used the form - the repeating lines really work, you have a wonderful flow going with this one. BRAVO!!!!!!!

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  2. This really is lovely. Now I want to write an aubade...

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  3. Well done Maddie, this is powerful! You have captured much in this piece and the repetition really works, emphasizing the pain. Maddie rocks!!

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  4. Well written, very well indeed.

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  5. BEHEN! I agree with Koko Sherry. These are nuggets of wisdom. And from you, I learn of yet another poetry form, aubade

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  6. Very well written, reminds me of a sestina, something I just started exploring, hope I can write one half as good as this.

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  7. Well written and powerfully worded!

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  8. Well written. You hooked me with the personification of the dust.

    Erick Flores

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  9. I love the first line, it drew me in and held me through the sorrow!

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  10. Let's hope the twins give her comfort. Nice write.

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  11. A very sad tale, but with the twins I hope she will find something to look forward to, despite her deep hurt

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  12. Dear Maddie~
    You mastered the aubade in form and intent. Evoking not only emotion, but also sensation and feeling, your words combine perfectly to tell the story. Well done.

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  13. It's one of those
    abstract beautiful things
    that just elude your grasp.

    beautiful.

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  14. Sad, thoughtful and well written.

    Anna :o]

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  15. Greetings: Excellent Blog.

    Happy Happy New Year.

    Best Wishes for the year of 2012…

    Your contribution is always welcome!

    Lots of blessings and cheers sending your way.

    See you soon.

    xoxox


    powerful expression of sadness, well done.

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  16. I am back and it is just as remarkable the second time around. Wowzers, kiddo.

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