Early morning light filters in
through the window's glass,
revealing dancing dust particles.
It's one of those
abstract beautiful things
that just elude your grasp.
But the woman by the window cannot grasp
the beauty of sunlight that filters in;
she is too shocked to notice things
like early morning scenes visible through glass
windows; it's one of 'those'
mornings; her heart has been shattered to particles.
Her heart has been shattered to particles
too sharply painful for her mind to grasp,
gather and repair logically. Those
paroxysms of angry grief have started raging in
her mind. His betrayal is transparent as glass:
he has gone with all his things.
He has gone with all his things:
there remain no particles
of his memory to break like a glass.
If one damned thing would come in her grasp
it would be destroyed to ashes and chucked in
the bin of her memory: it would break all those
spells he cast on her, those
spells that bewitched her to abandon all things
and fling herself across the globe to join him in
a faraway land with no approval of others, no particles
of a souvenir of love to grasp
safely in her hand, to nurse like delicate glass.
Her innocence was transparent as glass
when he, one of those
dirty handsome men, set out to grasp
on tightly to her, a beautiful 'thing'
to keep, with not a single particle
of love in his heart. He has left her to wake up in
a lonely land, to grasp reality cold as glass;
his particle-seed had inflicted major damage: 'unwanted things',
twins to be born to her in of those dreary December mornings.
WOW! What a fantastic write. I had to look at your photo to remind myself that this was written by a young woman - it has life wisdom far beyond your years. I also applaud how well you used the form - the repeating lines really work, you have a wonderful flow going with this one. BRAVO!!!!!!!
ReplyDeleteThis really is lovely. Now I want to write an aubade...
ReplyDeleteWell done Maddie, this is powerful! You have captured much in this piece and the repetition really works, emphasizing the pain. Maddie rocks!!
ReplyDeleteWell written, very well indeed.
ReplyDeleteBEHEN! I agree with Koko Sherry. These are nuggets of wisdom. And from you, I learn of yet another poetry form, aubade
ReplyDeleteVery well written, reminds me of a sestina, something I just started exploring, hope I can write one half as good as this.
ReplyDeleteWell written and powerfully worded!
ReplyDeleteWell written. You hooked me with the personification of the dust.
ReplyDeleteErick Flores
I love the first line, it drew me in and held me through the sorrow!
ReplyDeleteLet's hope the twins give her comfort. Nice write.
ReplyDeleteA very sad tale, but with the twins I hope she will find something to look forward to, despite her deep hurt
ReplyDeleteDear Maddie~
ReplyDeleteYou mastered the aubade in form and intent. Evoking not only emotion, but also sensation and feeling, your words combine perfectly to tell the story. Well done.
It's one of those
ReplyDeleteabstract beautiful things
that just elude your grasp.
beautiful.
Sad, thoughtful and well written.
ReplyDeleteAnna :o]
Greetings: Excellent Blog.
ReplyDeleteHappy Happy New Year.
Best Wishes for the year of 2012…
Your contribution is always welcome!
Lots of blessings and cheers sending your way.
See you soon.
xoxox
powerful expression of sadness, well done.
I am back and it is just as remarkable the second time around. Wowzers, kiddo.
ReplyDelete