Saturday, May 21, 2011

Untitled

Scared girl stumbles
into social circuit.
Drifting aimlessly,
aiming driftlessly,
she blusters her way
across the crowd,
desperately
seeking a saviour
from her loneliness.

The crowd confuses her,
overwhelms her;
they seem to
make closed circles
and break closed circles
only to make them again.
They seem to
break circles and
make circles
before she can
find a circle
where she could have
become just a point
in a chain of links.

So where should this scared
girl find refuge
in the crowd
from the crowd?

13 comments:

  1. I like this very much. The second stanza, with its ficus on circles, works very well for me, and the final question closes it down neatly.

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  2. This poem describes one of the the difficult problems some experience in the teen years. Some kids can be just plain mean! Your poem captured the feelings well of one who feels on the outside. (For most, I think, the college years are better!)

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  3. I appreciate this so much!
    much like I appreciated your interpretation of my work-which is spot on. :)

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  4. Wonderful description of something most of us have experienced.

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  5. great..
    thanks for taking the award.


    Greetings,

    How is your day?

    Please share your poetry with JP potluck today,
    Have fun!

    Love your talent, as always, appreciate your support very much!

    Old poems or poems unrelated to our theme are all welcome!

    xoxox

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  6. Congratulations on receiving the award! You deserve it.

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  7. As a teacher, I see young girls and how they bully each other in their social circles - and even just how awkward it can be when it's not deliberately cruel. This is well observed and well written. And the language hints at electricity, so I kept thinking of circuit breakers and short circuits - and somehow that added to the poem for me. Thank you for this.

    Richard

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  8. When everything around you is new to you, especially when you're going through the teen phase of your life, things can be very discomforting. This poem embodies all this beautifully.

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  9. This is fabulous. It perfectly describes what many (me) have experienced.

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  10. you have caught that feeling of confusion and panic very clearly - well done

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  11. My heart aches for the scared girl you so succinctly describe. Very effective translation of the emotions swirling inside her.

    http://www.kimnelsonwrites.com/2011/07/09/altered-reverie/

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  12. The angst of youth. It is somewhat relieved as friends are made, but actually exists throughout life. When you are older, you understand how shallow some of those groups are and no longer care that you don't fit in with their silliness.

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