Wednesday, May 7, 2014

My First Sonnet Minus Meter

When will this dense deluge abate?
Has time locked up this instant of gloom
and thrown away its key to freeze my fate?
Clouds of foul moods as dark as doom
come with gusts of tempestuous tempers
to lighten their burdens of torments over me.
They are so many- i can't remember
when it was i was happy and free.

I've barred my door and closed my windows;
yet their panes rattle my peace of mind.
I've retreated inside to cushion the blows
but all my efforts have been undermined.

It's cowardice that cuts deeper than a knife.
God, give me courage to walk through strife.

13 comments:

  1. What an amazing image of frozen fate, a marvelous poem. It also takes courage to ask some one or more to walk with you.

    ReplyDelete
  2. I like how you describe the emotional side of seeking that inner peace, sometimes it's hard to keep whats trying to get in. good write

    ReplyDelete
  3. Congratulations on writing a sonnet! Great use of imagery too. You have written a very strong piece. I hope you can find the strength and peace of mind to open your window again.

    ReplyDelete
  4. i love that prayer couplet the only key to unlock that instant and let in light...a strong and lovely sonnet.. :)

    ReplyDelete
  5. A lovely sonnet.. writing sonnets is an excellent way to break that strife.. lots of kudos for an excellent piece

    ReplyDelete
  6. Yay for the sonnet! I love the closing couplet. You have the courage, kiddo! I have no doubt.

    ReplyDelete
  7. A strong feeling sonnet. Great expression of doubt but I think sunshine is peeking about the corner :)

    ReplyDelete
  8. I agree with Gabriella's comment about keeping the window open. It is better to let in the light and the air than to retreat........

    ReplyDelete
  9. well described feeling and i like the prayer in the end, to find courage in oneself.

    ReplyDelete
  10. yet their panes rattle my peace of mind.

    What better reason to fling them wide and let the outside in? :-)

    ReplyDelete
  11. Indeed all we need is courage, beautiful writing dear.

    ReplyDelete
  12. Great work...strong sonnet madhumakhi!

    ReplyDelete
  13. Sometimes it appears 'easier' to close ourselves in, when unhappy, stressed etc.
    Okay for a little while, but then we must open the windows...
    Anna :o]

    ReplyDelete